Q&A – Joining our familes together as one
Weddings aren’t always about a commitment made between two individuals. Often it is the bringing together of two families. We asked Liverpool Celebrant Lorraine Hull how to make it a special celebration for all.
Q: As we both have children from our previous relationships, we want to symbolise our families joining together. What can we do to incorporate them into our wedding ceremony?
A: Sand blendings are a really popular, fun, and memorable, way of symbolising families coming together. They’re obviously fantastic for wedding ceremonies on, or near, a beach but they work really well in most venues – outside, or in.
Everyone can choose their favourite colours, or you may prefer to use shades to match the colour scheme of your wedding. Some people choose tones of the same colour palette to create an ombre effect. This is from a wedding, that I conducted, where there was a sand blending for a family of nine: the bride, groom, their six children and a grandchild. It was fabulous!
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Here are some suggested words for including three children (obviously, you can adapt to suit your family)
These five bottles of sand represent ___, ___, ___, ___ and ___.
They have each chosen their own colour.
Each grain of sand, in your individual bottles, represents a single, and separate, moment, decision, feeling or event that has already happened, in your lives, and all of those that are yet to happen.
They represent everything that makes you ‘you’. All that you were, all that you are, and all that you will be.
I am now going to ask ___ and ___ to pour their sand in the bottom of this bottle.
___, if you can pour the blue in please, and now ___, the red.
This base of sand symbolises your marriage and the love, hope and dreams, that you have for your family.
And now, ___, please pour the pink sand into this bottle.
And ___, please pour the purple sand.
And ___, please pour the green sand.
As these five coloured sands are poured into the bottle they will be joined together, as one.
They will form a unique pattern of colours that could never be recreated.
___ and ___, in this bottle, as in life, individually, and together, you provide the base for your family but like colours of the rainbow, we’re all different, valuable and precious.
Each of you, in this bottle, as in life, you are individuals and have distinct personalities, strengths, and qualities.
These individual layers symbolise that in life, and within your family, you each retain your character and individuality.
They also represent your unique and special gifts. You can clearly see each of your individual colours but you will also notice places where the layers meet and the colours have blended together.
___, ___, ___, ___, and ___, just as these grains can never be separated and poured back into their individual bottles; your family is united, and strengthened, by the love, that you all have for each other.
Together, you form a wonderful family.
Nurture and respect each other always.
Honour the gifts that each of you posses and share your gifts with each other freely, and with sincerity.
Help each other and protect each other, listen to each other and teach each other through love, understanding and consideration.
For what you have, is the greatest thing that you can ever have: a loving and united family.
May you all always remember the happiness that you feel today and, like these grains of sand, never become separated.
Place this bottle somewhere special within your home, so that you always have a reminder of the love that you have for each other.
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